MSweek 9 writing

Success Criteria:

I have proof-read my writing to ensure I have:

Juicy sentence starters

Correct punctuation - Capital letters, full stops, commas, speech marks, exclamation and question marks.

A speech conversation in the body of my writing

A simile in the body of my writing

Read my writing to ensure it makes sense.

14 September 2021

WALT:  Follow the sequence of Narrative writing

On a coldest winter night there was a squirrel and his name was Tom. Just before winter beigain Tom searched for food to store for winter. He found some big and juicy berries on a berry bush while he was on his way back home. The problem was he couldn’t get to the berry bush because the big Elephant Joe was sleeping over the berry bush so he could not get any berries. 

So Tom stormed over to the big Elephant's ear and Yelled”Wake up!!” but he would not move. Tom felt really sad because he had to go with no food for winter and he started to sob. His loud cry caught the attention of Blake the Eagle Blake flew down from the high tree and asked politely ”What's wrong my friend?”. Tom says that the Elephant Joe won’t move so he couldn't get his berries for winter. Blake says” don’t worry ill get it!” So Blake swooped up and flew over Joe and plucked some berries, and gave them back to Tom. Tom felt so happy he thanked Blake and went back home with some juicy berries.

Self Assessment

I liked that I was able to choose my characters and write my own story.

I think I need to add more detail and be more expressive.

20/9/21

WALT:  Express myself in Narrative Writing

Last weekend on a usually blazing hot day in Australia, Scyther the snake was at a rock concert, the concert was on the weekend. He arrived with his lottery Ticket he bought before the concert. Scyther was green and red with strips of yellow and blue. He is four foot long with a little hand bag around his waist. He loves to dance and party. The concert was at Sun court Stadium in Brisbane the stadium was filled with lights and drink stands and loads of chairs and a hydraulic roof that can open and close. He was having so much fun he forgot about the lottery ticket in his bag and the lottery ticket fell out of his bag and was lost among all of the animals feet he screamed “Damn it I lost my ticket!!”.

First, he thought that he could start slither under people and try to find his ticket but then he thought he would be trampled by all of the animals feet so he stayed put and waited until he was the only one there he searched and searched until he saw his dirty and ripped in half ticket on the floor. He picked it up and then he saw the big screens turn on behind the bands equipment and the TV started to play tonight's lotto program he checked his numbers and waited for them to call out the numbers where 1 3 9 2 5 8. Sycthers ticket read the same numbers he bit himself to test if he was dreaming he was so excited he jumped up in joy. He was so excited that he had just won 3 Billion dollars. Then, he rushed to the nearest shop and got his lottery ticket checked in. He yelled,”Best weekend ever!”.